Without all our little ties we may fall apart

Thursday, February 10, 2011

ABC Diet Day 18

"When you love someone, you say their name different. Like it's safe inside your mouth." — Jodi Picoult

Thinspiration? Lovespiration? Who knows.

Well my dears, it's been 4 days. That's all it took for all the feelings to become undeniable. I've gone through so much shit, I'm hard, I'm strong, and yet he makes me weak. He makes my heart pound and hands shake. He makes my mind race and my voice break. Even when I'm all choked up with tears he makes it easy for me to breath and laugh. I'm afraid of falling for him and getting hurt again but I've never really had a choice. I've always loved the Troublemaker. Once MLK day came along there was no turning back, I've loved him every minute since then. I still can't believe it's been over a year.

On to the numbers

What I ate:
2 slices of Wheat toast
Sugar Free Strawberry Jelly
Total Calories: 165
Calorie Limit: 200

What I did:
25 minutes of running / speed ball
Calories burned: 477

I currently weigh:
183 lbs.

What to do, what to do about Valentines Day. . .hmmm. Suggestions?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

ABC Diet Day 17

I'm tired so I'll quickly sum up my day. Played with huge balls, got called a retarded cunt, said hi to everyone in my whole school, got called weird, lol'd about it at lunch with the homies, YEAH, Rapidash, people suck, feeling terrible, happy again, lololol Gov't class, Driver's Ed, 3 hours of homework, blogging and talking to him.

What I ate:
Calorie Limit: 0 (Fast)

What I did:
25 minutes of running / Speed Ball
Calories Burned: 477

I currently weigh:
184 lbs.

I don't care,
I'm not supposed to care about him and the girls he surrounds himself with

I'm supposed to be over him

but I do care
and I suck.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

ABC Diet Day 16

Lolita Thinspiration

Today has been pretty good. Spent most of the day being lazy on Skype and lurking PT. I over slept so no school again. Meh I'll make sure to get up and go tomorrow. I've been talking to Nick like non-stop for the pass two days. I'm sure that's not a good thing but whatevs. Obviously I like getting hurt. Glee tonight, yay? My life is boring.

What I ate:
2 slices of toasted wheat bread
strawberry jelly
6 dill pickle spears
Total Calories: 200
Calorie Limit: 200

What I did:
35 minutes of general dancing
Calories burned: 221

I currently weigh:
185 lbs.

Ehh I've said it a million times and I'll say it again. I need to exerxise more. I want to lose more than 1 pound a day.

Monday, February 7, 2011

ABC Diet Day 15

Cute Thinspiration
I didn't go to school today, I really don't feel well. My head's been hurting all day. Yesterday I went to the mall with Angel and we looked at prom dresses, I'm pretty excited. Anyways on to what really matters.

[2/7/11 4:26:06 PM] Kelly Lynn: alright
[2/7/11 4:26:09 PM] Kelly Lynn: so I know it’s a few days away
[2/7/11 4:26:17 PM] Kelly Lynn: but I was wondering
[2/7/11 4:26:22 PM] Nick Hill: here it comes
[2/7/11 4:26:23 PM] Kelly Lynn: if you wanted to be my valentine?
[2/7/11 4:26:27 PM] Nick Hill: YES!
No, not that. This-

I ate:
An Apple
Total Calories: 55
Calorie Limit: 250

I did:
Calories Burned: 0

I currently weigh:
186 lbs.

Wooooh. . .yeah I'm too tired to care right now. Have a nice day. <3

Sunday, February 6, 2011

ABC Diet Day 14


My friend Angel (left) and me. (right)
 I wanted to show you guys my progress so far. These pictures were taken today. I'm not happy with my self at all so I'll keep working hard. Just thought you guys deserved to see the face behind the pretty bows.

I ate:
Strawberry smoothie
Sliced Turkey
Total Calories: 287
Calorie Limit: 350

I did:
90 minutes Wii Tennis
60 minutes Wii Baseball
Calories Burned: 809

I currently weigh:
187 lbs.

I'm not happy with that number. I feel like I should be losing more. Whatever, my head hurts.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

ABC Diet Day 12 & 13

I love what the girl is wearing in that picture. It's so cute ^^. Sorry for not updating yesterday. I went to school, then to the doctors, then came home and sleeped for a bizillion hours. I spent today hanging out with my sister. Which isn't really a good thing. She feeds me and throws a fit when I don't eat. Needless to say I'll be up until the wee hours of the night exercising. She took me shopping <3. She bought me a white sweater and under shirt and also this really cute blue skirt. Though I'm not happy the skirt is a size 14, Meh, oh well. I'm scared to look at the scale tomorrow. . .hopefully I didn't gain like 12 pounds.

What I ate over the course of two days:
Turkey on Wheat sandwhich
2 cups of Coffee
Dijon Chicken
1 cup Dry Cheerios
Total Calories:: 542
Calorie Limit: 600

I did:
2 minutes of Running
240 minutes (4 hours) Wii Tennis
120 minutes (2 hours) Wii Baseball
20 minutes of Sit Ups
Calories Burned: 2222

Oh my goodness how weird,

I currently weigh as of this morning
187 lbs.

I stayed within the calorie limits but I feel like I ate too much, ugh. I feel like I'll be 194 lbs tomorrow.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

ABC Diet Day 11

Lena & Yulia (Tatu) Thinspo
Aren't they freaking adorable? I love their music so much. I've been a Tatu fan for many years. I went to school today, it was so much fun. I love my second semester classes. I seriously spent the whole day hanging out with my friends. Thank you senior electives. Ha xD.

I ate:
2 cups of Watermelon
2 cups of sugar free Cherry Jello
2 Dill pickle Spears
Total Calories: 147
Calorie Limit: 150

I did:
25 minutes of Running / Speed Ball
Calories Burned: 482

I currently weigh:
188 lbs.

OH YEAHHH <3 Lost a pound! It's a good day. Alright I'm off to read like 8 chapters of my MMM book and do other home work stuff.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Another Poem

This one's called Weightless I wrote it like 2-3 days ago.

I'm drowning.
under all of the layers,
of everything I'm afraid of,
the disease that lives within me,
is nothing compaired,
to the layers on the outside,
they covers me,
and weigh me down,
how could I ever dream,
when the outer layers,
nail me to the ground,
I feel like I'm caving in,
with heavy weight upon my chest,
I can barely breath,
but I'll run,
until there's nothing left,
it might be painful,
but I don't dream of being painless,
I'll run the miles,
until I become weightless.

ABC Diet Day 10

Oh Yeah! Thinspiration Yeah!
I'm really happy today. I don't know what it is about fasting that makes me feel good. Maybe it's the emptiness, who knows. So I'm going back to school tomorrow. Not because I'm being forced or anything but because I want too. I feel okay, I feel ready to go back. I came to a realization,

I used to be really suicidal, when I was in 6th grade I made the goal to make it to high school graduation as a means of preventing myself from committing suicide. I'll be graduating this June. Well atleast I hope to, all I know is I'm not going out without a fight. I'm going to try hard.

I can't even imagine the amount of work I'll have to make up. Regardless I'm going to do it, I'm ready to make something of myself. I want to be able to stand up in my cap and gown and say I made it because I wanted too not because I was pushed too. I don't care how hard it'll be I'm going to do this.

I ate:
Calorie Limit: 0 (fast)

I did:
60 minutes Wii Baseball
20 minutes of General Dancing
Calories BurnedL 470

I currently weigh:
189 lbs.

I feel good. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

ABC Diet Day 9

Reverse Thinspo
Maybe I should have posted a picture of myself as reverse thinspo. I'm sure the girl in the picture (not me, just to clearify) is perfectly happy with herself. On the other hand, I am not. I have never been so disgusted with myself. I feel like a fat disgusting pig. I can smell the bacon my dad cooked himself for dinner how ironic, I'm an over cooked fucking porker. I don't even want to post this.

I ate:
1 cup of sugar free Cherry Jello
Total Calories: 10
Calorie Limit: 500

I did:
40 minutes of general dancing
120 minutes (2 hours) of Wii Tennis
Calories Burned: 942

I currently weight. . .ugh I don't want to say it. I feel like a disgrace.

. . .190 lbs.

I gained a pound. I have no clue how, maybe it's muscle I don't know. I feel disgusting.